This is a guest post done by my sister Ash. She is starting her own “blogging journey” and will be sharing here as well as on her own personal Facebook page. I lived this as a sister- and it was terrifying. I am eager to read this journey from her point of view.
To link directly to Ash’s blog click HERE
Blog- Scarred for Life
Entry 2- Pregnancy
So I was 15 weeks pregnant, I had a lump in my neck and there was nothing I could do about it….The surgeon was super optimistic and reassured me everything was going to be fine…I remember the thoughts that ran through my mind..Would whatever this was affect the baby?? Would it make me sick?? Would it grow into something bad before I could have it out?? Why was this even in there!!!
Eventually the worry about it went away, I had much more to focus on…A smart little 3 yr old that wanted attention from me every second of everyday…my growing belly…my 24th birthday and the summer ahead…
I scheduled my ultra sound for the baby and Sarah accompanied me…She was sure that this was a baby brother and was already calling it “Toby” to this day I have no clue where that name ever came from…Hot jelly on my belly and the screen lit up, there it was all tucked in and safe…the tech asked if we want to know if it was a boy or girl?? Yes!! She printed out a picture and handed it to Sarah, on the picture it said “Your new baby SISTER!!” I think this was the only time in Sarah’s life she was speechless, then she said “Toby is a girl??” Yes I guess so…
Over the next few weeks my midwife suggested that I get a second opinion and see an endocrinologist. I found a women at Lahey clinic and made an appointment…We reviewed everything, and she confirmed this lump had to come out and referred me to a surgeon in Burlington that was considered the best.
I’m not sure how long I waited to see this new surgeon….I had more important stuff on my agenda…Like Sarah starting pre-school for the very first time…coming up with and painting a theme for our nursery…digging out all of Sarah’s baby clothes and making sure they were ready…And a name…we needed a name!
I finally went and saw this surgeon and he too agreed this lump was coming out along with my thyroid…I’m thinking wait a sec, don’t you need that?? I was given tons of paperwork to read and was told the endocrinologist would take care of the thyroid part as far as medication I would need afterwards…This still wasn’t a reality to me, I guess because I was still pregnant and couldn’t move forward…maybe she could stay in there forever and I wouldn’t have to deal with this…no such luck..I left that appointment with a surgery date..Dec 12th 2001..22 days after I was supposed to give birth.
Ok I could handle this right?? I had no choice, weather I liked it or not this baby was coming out and so was the lump…Halloween came and went and we were fastly approaching my due date…I got down to the weekly appointments and they kept saying “she’s ready”…Nov 20th came and went, as did the 21st, 22nd, 23rd etc…I begged them to induce me because the longer she waited the closer my surgery date was getting..
It was Nov 27th and I was in labor!! I had my parents take Sarah and I called the midwife. My water had not broken yet, so there was no rush…I got the the hospital, and they broke my water at 1 am… At 1:17 am on Nov 28th Morgan Sayward Laskiewicz was born…8lbs 13ozs and bald…She was perfect…
Instead of having 22 days to recover from giving birth I had 14…During those 2 short weeks, it wasn’t your typical snuggling and devoting every minute to your new baby…For me it was making sure I had people to take care of my kids while I was in the hospital and while recovering…Making lists of their schedules and writing notes to the teacher of who would be picking up and dropping sarah off…trying to explain to a 3 yr old why she would have to stay at her grandparents for a week while I was at home…and trying to wrap my head around handing over my 2 week old baby to someone else for a week..
I had to go into the hospital the day before my surgery to fill out some forms…John was with me and we took Morgan too..They handed me a thick packet to read through and sign..It said things like..Pain, trauma, stiffness, damaged vocal cords, wind pipe, tracheotomy…all the things that could go wrong.
We left and took Morgan to my parents where both kids would sleep so I could get up early to head to the hospital…I was thankful that between my parents and my sister, we had all the bases covered…I don’t remember much of that night except for my father asking me if I had thought about the possibility of not making it out of surgery….Not until now dad..thanks a lot!!..Then with quick hugs and kisses I left them there…
The next morning came quick and we were in the car heading to the hospital…I couldn’t eat or drink anything and I remember John wanting to stop for a coffee, how selfish I thought…I checked in and they made you sit a room and wait.. Everyone looking at each other wondering why they were there. I don’t think John and I talked and then the lady came out and called my name..This was it..This was what I had been waiting for and dreading for months…A quick hug and kiss and then I was behind closed doors…
The room was big, full of beds…people being prepped for different surgeries…she handed me a johnny and told me to take everything off…I asked her if I could keep my underwear on because I was still bleeding from just having a baby…she had to go ask if it was okay and it was not…well that was just great…
The anesthesiologist came next…I remember him being the sweetest person I’d encountered in there yet…He mixed me up a cocktail to calm my nerves and I was relieved when he told me he’d be in there with me the entire time….Next was the surgeon, he came and explained what he was going to do and how they do it…Through my loopiness I heard him say it was a lot like the biopsy, they would hang my head off the end of the able and make the incision just above my collar bone..And not to worry because the scar would be in a wrinkle and hardly noticeable…Yeah cause that’s my biggest friggen worry right now!! They would insert a breathing tube through the neck so I could breathe…Then they would remove the lump along with the right side of my thyroid gland…He decided it was best if they had a pathologist look at the lump before they closed me up, that way if it was in fact just a goiter he would leave the left side of the thyroid glad intact..I was uneasy about this because we had all agreed the whole thing should come out…but who was I to argue with a guy carrying a scalpel…As he walked away he said “if you were my wife that’s what I’d do”.
When it was time they wheeled me into the operating room..It was cold and bright and I remember thinking, it’s exactly like what you see on T.V…I remember them moving me from the bed I was in over to the table and apologizing for being so heavy because I’d just had a baby…In fact I had two babies at home..so you better not screw this up!!
Then I heard “see you in recovery” and it was lights out…
|Sarah and my big belly|
|Me & Morgan|